300 (DVD review)

Rated: R (for graphic battle sequences throughout, some sexuality and nudity)
Runtime: 116 minutes
Directed by: Zack Snyder
Starring: Gerard Butler, Lena Headey, Dominic West, David Wenham

I have to jump right into this review with no precursor or exposition - 300 friggin' rocks! It's not the kind of film you deconstruct and analyze for meaning, or accept as historically accurate, but it's extremely self-aware and meets its own expectations tenfold. It's a slick, sexy, brutal sock to the gut that's visually astounding and consistently viscerally engaging, with some of the most inventive action sequences I’ve ever seen. This film takes the epic genre (the likes of Braveheart, Gladiator, Troy, etc) and replaces emotional significance with a hardcore adrenaline rush to gleeful effect. 
 
In 480 BC, Xerxes, King of Persia, advances on Greece in hopes of continuing to expand his vast empire. Enter Spartan King Leonidas (Gerard Butler), who dares to oppose the incumbent onslaught. With the council not supporting his move towards war, Leonidas takes his personal bodyguard - the 300 greatest warriors in their army - to make a stand at the passage of Thermopylae against Xerxes' forces, composed of the armies of his conquered nations. Thus begins the epic bloodshed. 
 
The film is based on Sin City creator Frank Miller's graphic novel. And the images are ripped right off the pages. The cinematography is astounding, utilizing the same digital photographic process as Sin City. Every scene was shot against a green/blue screen, with the environments digitally added in post production. It lends the flick a very otherworldly, comic book feel, which is very appropriate. One of the most impressive visual aspects (aside from the camerawork and computer imagery) is the color scheme. Everything is bleached out in high contrast, with warm earthen tones and harsh crimson. The fiendish creatures they fight are imaginative, hellish creations with excellent makeup effects. From any perspective, the movie is visually breathtaking.

The acting, while intensely theatrical, is rather apt. Characters speak in that deep, dramatic “hero-voice” indicative of what you might expect from a comic-book period piece. Everything is dire, ominous and poignant. Butler (Phantom of the Opera) brings a sense of class and nobility to the film in his performance – a great casting choice. What also impresses is the amount of physical strengthening the actors had to undergo to portray the Spartans (their muscles look like those of comic book characters, so much so I had to question if the actors were wearing some sort of body prosthetic – ladies will swoon and guys will be envious).

Zack Snyder shows a fair amount of directorial growth in this, his sophomore film effort. His 2004 debut on the Dawn of the Dead remake caught me completely off guard with his visceral action pieces and keen sense of visual aesthetic. In 300 he goes all out, like a kid in a candy store, throwing every trick in the book at the screen with a psychotically artistic fervor. It’s like the film is a series of back-to-back “oooooo, what if we could do THAT!” moments. The action pieces are lavish, extravagantly orchestrated sequences of mesmerizing carnage that achieves a seeming level of (dare I say) beauty. He knows what kind of film he’s making and isn’t afraid to make it. And he’s smart about it too – 300 was the year’s surprise runaway hit. It cost only $60 million to make, made $70 million opening weekend, and grossed $210 million domestically ($456 million worldwide).

The film does harbor its share of problems. Despite my positive comments in regards to acting, some of the performances do feel somewhat wooden. The oversaturated stylish nature of the film, while excellent, somewhat works against it. Reality is severely skewed and often the film feels more like a fantasy tale akin to Lord of the Rings than it does a historical action epic, and sometimes shots look too fake. This, however, gives 300 that appropriately ethereal feel that makes it stand out, so I suppose these could be considered positive points as well. My biggest complaint is the lack of development. More time could’ve been spent with key characters, and they could have been given greater arcs. Some scenes fly by too quickly (overall the film has an incredibly breakneck pace). Each new squadron of foes the Spartans fight is composed of intricately designed warriors and fiendish beasts… then they’re defeated in the blink of an eye and a new hoard is lined up and ready to go (with different looking warriors of equal intrigue). It would’ve been nice to see more of all the character designs. Bottom line – the film could benefit from a longer runtime. With back-to-back action pieces, the emotional significance one might obtain during a film of this sort (as it was in Gladiator) is lost.

The thing is that no matter how you cut it, 300 looks incredible and is devilishly entertaining. The DVD is available in both a one and two-disc edition, the former of which has no extras while the latter is stacked (take a guess which I recommend). Definitely a must see. Sorta makes you wanna be a Spartan.

My Rating: B+

The Hills Have Eyes II (DVD review)

Rated: R (for prolonged sequences of strong gruesome horror violence and gore, a rape and language) *DVD available UNRATED also*
Runtime: 89 minutes (R-Rated cut) / 90 minutes (UNRATED cut)
Directed By: Martin Weisz
Written By: Wes Craven and Jonathan Craven

It’s no big secret that I love me some horror flicks. So yes, I get excited about movies with freaky bloodthirsty desert-dwelling mutants such as The Hills Have Eyes. I never was a huge fan of horror master (who’s currently either lost his touch or is hiding it really well) Wes Craven’s original 1977 film. But the 2006 remake was pretty spiffy in my book, thanks in large part to the visual bravado provided by newbie director Alexandre Aja. And as is the case with any movie, remake or not, that draws success and waves the “potential franchise” flag, the studio naturally wanted a sequel.

I’ll cut to the chase – The Hills Have Eyes II sucks. Badly. The story focuses on a group of National Guard trainees trucking supplies to scientists out in the New Mexico desert – specifically the area that inbred cannibalistic hill-dwellers who’ve been mutated by the radiation fallout from nuclear bomb testing call home. The team responds to a phony distress signal in the hills and starts faring… not so well.

I would’ve been really stoked were Aja returning to the director’s chair. He’s wisely opted to move on, leaving the reigns to newcomer/music video director Martin Weisz. Weisz doesn’t do a bad job, per se. It’s just that his approach here feels formulaic and bland. He keeps the camera erratically and persistently wavering about, often choosing to settle on awkward, dynamic-free compositions. The editing is (ineffectually) schizophrenically trigger-happy, seeming more like a music video than a horror film.

The script is crap. Penned by Craven and his son (which is a neat novelty in itself), it’s rampant with trite, forced dialogue and a ridiculous plot. The first film pitted a family on vacation against the mutants. It was a primal, frightening tale of survival – ordinary people against an extraordinary threat. They had to undergo a rite of passage to survive. Now we have soldiers with automatic weapons and combat training as the victims? And they’re taken out one by one with a pickaxe. It’s laughable – often I found myself wondering if the whole film was a joke. When about halfway through I realized I was still waiting for the REAL movie to start, I gave up.

Can’t say much one way or another about the acting. It’s bad on several parts and mildly at par on others. The characters themselves (which are equal parts boring and annoying) are hollow, one-dimensional waste, useful only to facilitate a high body count – which is sad since even the death scenes are lackluster (save for one where a mutant waves goodbye to a falling victim with his own severed hand… I found that darkly comical).

The DVD has some nifty features that honestly are loads better than the film itself. As it stands, The Hills Have Eyes II is pretty much a waste of celluloid. As severely disappointed as I was, I really can’t recommend it with good conscience.

My Rating: D

Transformers

Rated: PG-13 (for intense sequences of sci-fi action violence, brief sexual humor, and language)
Runtime: 144 minutes
Directed By: Michael Bay
Written By: Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman
Starring: Shia LeBouf, Peter Cullen (voice), Josh Duhamel, Megan Fox, Tyrese Gibson, Jon Voight, John Turturro

I’m four years old again. Everyone has something that transports them back to their childhood, something cherished that can bring about the most profound sense of nostalgia. A lot of people get fanatic over and experience above said effect from Star Wars. The same thing (even though the films are new) could be said for Lord of the Rings. For me, it’s one thing – Transformers. Which makes this review particularly difficult to write. The loyal fan in me loves the new movie because of my affinity, and has complaints about it because of how some things were handled. The cinema freak in me loves it because of its high points and frowns because of its lows. It’s a very awkward ebb and flow. I suppose I should jump right into it.

Transformers is the tale of the epic war between Autobots (good) and Decepticons (evil), advanced robotic sentient alien beings who have the ability to transform into objects or machines in order to blend into their environment – primarily land and air vehicles. Descending from the planet Cybertron, their war eventually makes its way to Earth as they search for the Allspark – a cube that originally gave them life. Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBouf), your coming-of-age outcast everyboy, buys his first car which turns out to be Bumblebee, an Autobot. Long story short, the Decepticons (Starscream, Barricade, Bonecrusher, Blackout, Scorponok, and Frenzy) invade to awaken their leader, Megatron (cryogenically frozen on Earth), and claim the Allspark. It’s up to the Autobots (Bumblebee, Ironhide, Jazz, and Ratchet) under the leadership of the heroic Optimus Prime to stop them.

I can honestly say I’ve been more excited about this flick than any other movie… ever. It’s been an obsession. I’ve been having recurring dreams about the movie for some time (read: dork). There’s been a lot of fanboy flak thrown at Michael Bay (Armageddon, Bad Boys II, The Island) for directing. It’s too easy to dislike the guy from a film buff standpoint – his work is flashy, erratically cut, overly commercial, and harbors lots of bad decisions in regards to acting, development and approach. But to counterpoint – his stuff looks really good. I mean sexy. Stuff blows up and you can’t help but say (to borrow a catchphrase from a recent convict), “that’s hot…” For a flick about alien robots that morph to and from vehicles hellbent on destroying one another, I’m behind Bay. His style works very well here and oh man does the movie ever LOOK cool. The cinematography is slick, the sound kicks all sorts of your stuff around, but the real trophy is, surprise surprise…

...the effects. They’re absolutely mind-blowing. You have never seen anything like this on screen before. The transformations are gorgeous and seamless. Vehicles race 80-100mph down the road, transform into 20-30 foot tall metal behemoths that exchange Earth-shattering blows, blasting away at each other, then change right back to cars, trucks, whatever and race on without ever breaking stride. The action pieces are incredible and mostly strung back-to-back. Transformers is defiantly a non-stop action-packed thrill ride.

The acting is fair. The real standout is LaBouf – he totally sells every scene he’s in, with apt comedic timing and reactions so believable you buy that he’s really interacting with a giant robot rather than some computer effect. That’s something else that surprised me – the movie is really funny. I had reservations on whether or not the comedy would work, but it did for me. Especially the bits with Bumblebee playing appropriate songs at the right moment (Sam’s girlfiend walks away frustrated and the radio kicks in: “Baby come back… you can blame it all on me”). Peter Cullen triumphantly returns to voice Optimus Prime (he voiced him in the original 80s cartoon) and all I can say is THANK GOD. This iconic character couldn’t have been brought to life without Cullen – he IS Prime.

There’s just something magical about Transformers to me I can’t explain. Optimus Prime has always been the epitomic definition of a hero in my book – defining courage, honor, integrity. When he pulls up as a Peterbilt 379 semi and transforms for the first time, I felt completely in awe – it’s like meeting your hero. When Megatron sends Sam flying off the roof of a building seemingly to his doom and Optimus catches him safely in his hand, saying, “I’ve got you boy…” it’s like a dad saving his son (I’ve always felt there’s a strong father-figure quality to Optimus Prime). When Bumblebee is captured and taken away and Sam rushes in a futile attempt to save him, I found myself welling up a bit. I’m aware that I’m coming off a complete geek. I don’t know, there’s just something inherently emotionally connected to these characters for me.

Sadly, there’s a lot of problems with the flick. There’s a really bad side plot with these analysts, most notably Maggie (played by Rachael Taylor, who is too good-looking to be a scientist… no, can’t buy that), working to crack a signal. Anthony Anderson plays Maggie’s elite hacker friend and… well the guy’s funny but ridiculously out of place here. The action scenes, while stellar, are way, way too quick. The Transformers who die are defeated too quickly and too easily. It’s like a build up to something huge and then, crap… it’s over. Thankfully there’s another action set piece cued and ready to follow each instance. But scenes interconnect awkwardly and often disjointedly, and there are tons of plot holes. The score isn’t particularly good and lacks any recognizable theme, which is desperately needed. Why they didn’t incorporate some version of the original theme song is beyond me. The biggest problem is the script, penned by Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman. No surprise as they also wrote Mission Impossible III (insert fart noise here to signify awful). Bad dialogue, bad plot progression. And there’s really no character development, save for a select few (Megatron and Starscream were wasted – they should’ve known better). I wanted to get to know each of the Transformers, learn their eccentricities, their stories. Instead some show up, have one line, transform and are defeated in the same scene. That was a huge letdown. The movie focuses too much on the humans – it should’ve been more about the Autobots and Decepticons (Sam being the exception).

When all’s said and done, Transformers is tough to call. On one level I’m disappointed. On another, it’s everything I wanted it to be. The two opinions are duking it out Autobot/Decepticon style in my head at the moment. There’s no reason this flick shouldn’t have been a masterpiece. Spielberg executive produced – he should’ve demanded a better script and stepped in to aid in some of the character development (he’s great at it). As it is, Transformers is flawed. But I love it, and not just for the spectacle. Am I biased? Yes. Am I passing this purely because it’s Transformers? No. The good just outweighs the bad. And I simply can’t get enough of it. So please, guys (Spielberg, Bay, or whoever will be involved)… bring on the sequel and make it bigger and better. I want to be four again at least one more time.

My Rating: A –